I have been having what would seem to be lucid dreams for the last 20 or so years. The first were very frightening, as I'd never experienced anything like them before. Even now they can be quite frightening initially, but I seem to consciously reason that I'm having them now and reassure myself of what's happening, whilst 'sleeping', and let myself go with them. It's got that I'm so comfortable with them that I want to continue them, invariably though, I wake up. Sometimes I think I have brought them on, e.g. by eating cheese or being depressed, other times they just happen and I wonder about what I ate or whether or I'm depressed; sometimes I'm neither, but there's usually some anxiety happening around the time that they happen, though not always.
I would say that on average I have a couple, to half a dozen a year. Only once, so far in later life was it menacing and even then it was so thrilling I didn't want it to end, but kind of caused it to end through a fear of what might happen.
To keep this short, the main elements consist of propulsion (up to the ceiling, around light fittings, rafters and guttering's), elevation and awareness, swimming (mid-air around the rooms of the house as if under water) and a bodily lightness, e.g. jumping, floating or dancing; anything from hip-hop to ballet, bare foot on point.
I had one the night before last, it started with me going on tip-toes and then jumping a huge vertical leap. I was up by the light fitting in the centre of the room, touching it, and willing myself to go higher and not to be scared, yet at the same time wanting to turn the bedside light on to see what was happening, totally convinced that it was happening. I was completely aware of what was going on and fixated on the dichotomy entailed in proving it to myself. Willing myself to go even higher (through the ceiling!) I was aware of my arm reaching for the bedside light to see, I turned it on and for some time lay there, thinking I was still dreaming and wanting to get back to the light fitting as that was more real. I forced myself out of bed and walked into the other rooms with caution, still feeling slightly unreal and a bit disturbed. I made a cup of tea and was so distracted I put on the TV and watched some programme that was on called 'Funny Already - A History of Jewish Comedy, Charting the impact of Jewish comedians on the American entertainment industry over the last century, from the Marx brothers to Jerry Seinfeld!!! And i continued to remain a bit confused and felt quite different in the thought that something in particular had happened that had a kind of specialness about it which has lasted for the past few days.
I don't bother writing or recording this sort of thing nowadays. Age brings a certain amount of cynicism/skepticism and all that, and yet, I would dearly love to have more idea of what is going on, from a learned and reputable source. I've searched the web a bit, but everything seems so gimmicky or naff and not to be trusted that I sometimes wonder if I'm just another looney. But I know that I'm not, and that these experiences are something out of the ordinary.
My only logical conclusion is that maybe they have something to do with 'energy', perhaps of a sexual kind, I don't know, although they are not sexual in themselves; however they are exicting and they do feel good, in a swimming through the air kind of way.
If there is anyone out there (who knows what they are talking about) who could give some further insight, it would be welcomed; that's if you can be bothered to read all this, (other peoples 'dreams' always seem to be so boring.
Maybe this sort of thing happens to everyone, and like me they can't be bothered half the time trying to explain it, or, rather, to watch the expressions of disbelief on other peoples faces; but I'm not the only one...I can't be.
Thanks for listening, J.
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