i am in a 5 year relationship my g/f and me have been...

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Question by 2pac
Submitted on 7/4/2004
Related FAQ: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
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i am in a 5 year relationship my g/f and me have been discussing a polly relationship for 3 years we have ran down the list of all the people we know hoping for a cople that we would both be attracted to, so far we have only come up with a single male, which is my best friend so we did threesome for the first time with another male to see how we could handle it and it went well, so now we are talking about just getting with my best friend and just the three of us untill maybe he gets a women, my thoughts are once we get with him espessally on steady basis he will not disare another women because he will have mine and that doesnt bother me so much we have set basic rules and guidelines and have not iniated this reltionship yet iam scared once iniated if we split up my friend will stay with her and i will lose both my friend and g/f we expect up front that he will fall in love with her and viseversa thats no problem thats the whole beauty of it, i dont know what to should we find someone that not a good friend or what,she difinatly is attracted to him and i am ok with that iam confussed

Answer by ~ender
Submitted on 6/28/2005
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Here's the hard truth. Sometimes that happens. I mean, something like 95% of relationships end up in breakup. And if she's also in love with someone else, then if she's not having trouble with them, she'll stay in that relationship. However, you love them both, correct? (maybe the same way, maybe in different ways, but love none-the-less?) Live a little. Nothing risked, nothing gained. The more love in your life, the more you have to give. Maybe instead of expecting him to find another lady, you can find another? What're you're dealing with is insecurity, the fear of being alone. You've also bought into the idea of scarcity of love. When people buy into that, they're also breeding jealousy, and all types of strife. Instead, love more.

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Answer by ck3
Submitted on 8/3/2004
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I don't think you can run down a list of folks you know. Our relationship came from someone we didn't know. The relationship grew from a simple sex lunch to a poly relationship.

Answer by too late
Submitted on 8/7/2004
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she is already doing him on the side

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