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I broke up with this girl about 9 months ago after being in...

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Question by scottie
Submitted on 6/4/2004
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I broke up with this girl about 9 months ago after being in love for 2 years.  Timing in our lives was just not right.  I have taken my life to a new level and am now ready to be involved seriously.  She is not, according to her.  I have tried just about everything to get her back and even bought an online book about how to do so.  I had given up and started to move on.  Additionally, I have a close relationship with her sister and through her, I met a girlfriend of hers that actually works with my ex.  This girlfriend needed a place to live and so now lives with me (she rents I own) and to make a long story short, we are sleeping together.  About once a month, my ex will show up at my house under the guise of hanging out with her co worker but my ex has no idea that we are sleeping together.  Every time I see my ex, it brings back feelings of pain and despair.  I have told my roommate this and asked politely to not allow my ex to show up at my house or anywhere where we might be together yet it happened again last night.  My question for you is this, Am I doing anything wrong by sleeping with my roommate?  Why is my ex showing up at my house?  Is my ex using me as security blanket or do you think she still hangs on to some feelings for me?  If she finds out, how can I explain to her that I was just trying to move on and not trying to intentionally hurt her?  I am so confused please help me.  Thanks!




Answer by bubster007
Submitted on 10/5/2004
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Love comes in all of the colors of the rainbow. The color we blend together today may not be the color we mix together tomorrow. Relationships change. We do not share the same color of love with our mothers that we do with or fathers. We do not blend the same colors together with our grandmothers as we do with our lovers. As you grow and mature you bring a different color to a relationship. Lies, unfaithfulness and many negative things dull the colors you once shared so brightly. Loyalty, Sharing, Caring strengthen the blend and make a brilliant, bright hue. You can control the color that you bring and you control its intensity. You decide who you want to blend that with and they can choose to blend with you. You cannot share the exact same color blend with any two people. Be brilliant and radiant.

 

Answer by mike
Submitted on 6/11/2006
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start making out with her right in front of your ex- she''ll be bumm'n....

 

Answer by Blait
Submitted on 2/12/2007
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Hey scottie,

i just very recently came out of a 2 1/2 year relationship, i know how much it hurts.

From my position it seems that your ex has a suspician about you and your roomate.

Any relationship over that period of time, people will still have feelings for one another no matter why it ended.

The reason why your girl never took you back when you wanted her was because she knew you wanted her, at that time you gave her the "power position" were she called all the shots.

My call is if you want her back, start talking to her purely on a friendship basis, even though you know u want her back later on, you have to make her feel like you dont want her at all. Essentially you want her to fall back in love with you for what reasons she did in the first place, whatever they were.  

You can tell her about your roomate, but dont expect her to take you back while you still live with that girl, your best option is to talk about "other girls".

If you really do love your ex, then its worth the time it will take to get her back.

 

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