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Question by carl
Submitted on 1/3/2004
Related FAQ: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
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Can i get  help ...locating a group here in Saint-Louis , Mo ??
a group where i can go with my    Girlfriend and make love ?/have ...love ...share love ??Please ??


Answer by stormdancer
Submitted on 4/9/2004
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Please be clear and not use innuendo.  Love is not sex, and vice versa.  You have sex. You feel love for someone. The phrase 'making love' came from the stupid tv/radio censors who think the word 'sex' is bad. Sigh.  Off soap box.  

First, you should read a bit about polyamory to get the basics down before you embarrass yourself in a local group. Polyamory is not about sex or group sex or casual sex or anonymous sex.  That's swingers. There are swinger groups near you if you Google search it.  
Polyamory is about multiple loving relationships, deep relationships where you each know your favorite things, you share your feelings, you go on fun dates. Sex does happen for polys, but its still usually one-on-one, from what I've heard. Are you emotionally ready for your girlfriend to go on dates without you? For when she falls in love with someone else while still loving you?  Polyamory can enhance the existing relationship - but only if the existing relationship is already stable.  Fix problems before trying polyamory.

Next, St. Louis, sure, there's some groups there.
http://groups.yahoogroups.com/group/BiStatePolyList
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PoDGEstL/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StLPolyCommunity/

 

Answer by stormdancer
Submitted on 4/9/2004
Rating:  Rate this answer: Vote
Please be clear and not use innuendo.  Love is not sex, and vice versa.  You have sex. You feel love for someone. The phrase 'making love' came from the stupid tv/radio censors who think the word 'sex' is bad. Sigh.  Off soap box.  

First, you should read a bit about polyamory to get the basics down before you embarrass yourself in a local group. Polyamory is not about sex or group sex or casual sex or anonymous sex.  That's swingers. There are swinger groups near you if you Google search it.  
Polyamory is about multiple loving relationships, deep relationships where you each know your favorite things, you share your feelings, you go on fun dates. Sex does happen for polys, but its still usually one-on-one, from what I've heard. Are you emotionally ready for your girlfriend to go on dates without you? For when she falls in love with someone else while still loving you?  Polyamory can enhance the existing relationship - but only if the existing relationship is already stable.  Fix problems before trying polyamory.

Next, St. Louis, sure, there's some groups there.
http://groups.yahoogroups.com/group/BiStatePolyList
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PoDGEstL/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StLPolyCommunity/

 

Answer by Jack_Darlene
Submitted on 11/28/2005
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Good answer on the diff btwn Poly and Swinging, Stormdancer.  :-)

As regards StLPolyCommunity, we tried to contact them.  Got a response that was right out of the Twilight Zone.  Tried to reply using the link included in their response and got 'undeliverable' back.  I'm sure there are some good Poly groups in the St. Louis area, but at this point I sure can't recommend this one to anyone.  Do you have any experience at all with this group?  The group 'manifesto' sounds really nice, but the feedback to date has been almost schizophrenic.

 

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