Lunch Lady Land
Performed by Adam Sandler on 15 Jan 1994 (Sara Gilbert)

Sandler:  This is a song about the high school experience sung
          through the eyes of the person who more than anyone
          else puts young people on the right path.  I'm not
          talking about the teachers, I'm not talking about the
          coaches, I'm not even talking about the guidence coun-
          selors.  I'm talking about a person we call.. The Lunch
          Lady.

        Woke up in the morning, put on my new plastic glove.
        Served some reheated salsbury steak with a little slice of 
        love.

        I got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of..
        Just know everything's doing fine down here in...
        LUNCHLADY LAND

        Well I wear this net on my head..cuz my red hair is fallin' 
        out.  I wear these brown orthapedic shoes cuz I got a bad
        case of the gout.

        I know you want seconds on the corn dogs,
        but there's no reason to shout.
        
        Everybody gets enough food down here in the magical..
        LUNCHLADY LAND.

        (G. E. Smith & band joins in) 

        Well yesterday's meatloaf is today's sloppy joes.
        And my breath reaks of tuna and there's lots of black hairs 
        comin' out of my nose.
                AH
         Hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders
         navy beans, navy beans, navy beans, navy beans.
         hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders
         navy beans, navy beans..MEATLOAF SANDWICH.
        
        Sloppy joe slop sloppy joe yeah
        sloppy joe slop sloppy joe ooh-yeah

        (with Chris Farley)
        sloppy joe slop sloppy joe yeah
        sloppy joe slop sloppy joe -YEAH

        Then one morning that I woke up to see aw the pepperoni pizza 
        was lookin at me. 

        It screamed why do you burn me and serve me up cold, 

        I said a I got the spatula- just do what you're told.
        And the liver and onions started joining the fight and the 

        chocolate pudding pushed me with all its might and the chop 

        suey slapped me and it kicked me in the head -it's called 
        revenge LunchLady said the garlic bread

        I said what did I do to make you all so mad?
        You got flabby arms and your breath is bad.
        And the green beans said you better run and hide 

        but then my friend Sloppy Joe came and joined my side.

     He said if it wasn't for the Lunch Lady the kids wouldn't eat ya
        You should be shakin' her hand and sayin' pleased to meet ya

        She gives you a purpose and she gives you a goal 

        You should be kissin' her feet or kissin' her mole
        Now all the angry food just leave me alone,
        And we all live together in our happy home a thanks to
                Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe yeah
                Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe ooh yeah
                Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe yeah
        (slower)Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe well..

        Me and Sloppy Joe got married.
        We got six kids and we're doin' just fine.
        Down in Lunch Lady Land
        OHH WOAH!
        
(transcribed by Richard Wludyga <wludygr@alleg.EDU>)
(corrections by Doug Krause <dijon@lido.com>)